Rethinking Oppositional Defiant Disorder in Adults - Is It Really About Defiance?
When we think of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), the mind often jumps to unruly children resisting teachers or parents, shouting “no!” at every turn. But what happens when these individuals grow up? Does ODD simply disappear—or do the behaviours evolve into something misread and misdiagnosed in adulthood?
More importantly, are we framing the issue all wrong?
Let’s unpack the traditional view of ODD, challenge the behavioural-control narrative, and explore a radically different interpretation - that oppositional behaviour in adults might not be about disobedience or disorder, but about unmet needs, poor communication, and a failure of systems—not individuals
1. The Traditional Framing: Pathology or Power Maintenance?
According to the DSM-5, ODD is a disorder typically characterized by:
Angry or irritable mood
Argumentative or defiant behaviour
Vindictiveness
And in children, it must occur “more frequently than is typical for age and developmental level.”
Here’s the thing: this is all described from the outside. It's assessed through the eyes of the authority figure—a parent, teacher, or therapist—who deems the behaviour as disruptive, noncompliant, or problematic.
In adults, however, the same behaviours may be framed in more pathologized or morally loaded terms. Think: difficult colleague, noncompliant patient, toxic partner, undermining subordinate.
The core assumption remains: someone is failing to follow rules. But what if that assumption is baked into a worldview that prioritizes obedience over autonomy?
This is where critical theory—particularly Michel Foucault’s work on power and discipline—becomes relevant.
Pathology, in this view, becomes a way of controlling deviance from norms, particularly when those norms serve institutional power. "You will do what I say" becomes a litmus test for mental stability.
The refusal becomes a diagnosis.
2. Reframing ODD as an Adaptive Response
Now imagine this: what if ODD isn’t a standalone disorder, but a survival strategy?
Multiple frameworks support this view, even if they don’t use the ODD label explicitly:
Trauma-informed models suggest that persistent defiance may be a protective response to inconsistent, unsafe, or authoritarian relationships. What appears to be “difficult behaviour” may actually be an effort to establish control in an environment where the individual historically had none.
Neurodiversity-informed approaches argue that behaviours labelled as “oppositional” may reflect a need for clarity, logic, or autonomy. For example: “You’ve told me to do this task, but it doesn’t make sense in the current context—I need more information.”
Self-determination theory, widely respected in psychology, states that autonomy, competence, and relatedness are essential for motivation. When autonomy is denied—especially through blunt commands or dismissive responses—resistance is not only predictable, it’s healthy.
In this light, ODD-like behaviours in adults could be interpreted as rational demands for dignity, understanding, and context.
3. The Executive Dysfunction & Emotion Regulation Angle
Let’s dig deeper into the neurocognitive layer. Many individuals who exhibit “oppositional” behaviour also struggle with:
Cognitive flexibility – difficulty shifting between tasks or accepting last-minute changes without adequate justification.
Working memory overload – especially when given vague or poorly structured instructions.
Emotion regulation – the internal system that helps us stay calm and make reasoned decisions under stress.
If you’re told, “Just do what I say,” and your brain is already taxed from processing multiple instructions, emotionally on edge from past invalidation, and confused by the lack of clarity—what emerges may look like defiance, but is actually dysregulation.
This is especially relevant for neurodivergent adults, including those with ADHD or autism, who often need:
More context before they can shift into action,
Predictable patterns of interaction,
A clear rationale to engage.
In these cases, oppositionality is a symptom, not a strategy.
4. ODD and ADHD Comorbidity: A Clue, Not a Coincidence
One of the strongest connections in developmental psychology is between ODD and ADHD. Roughly 40–65% of children with ADHD are also diagnosed with ODD. That overlap doesn’t just vanish in adulthood—it morphs.
What if we read this differently?
Consider this: someone with ADHD is impulsive, hyper-reactive to emotional stimuli, and often overwhelmed by executive demands. Add in a rigid or authoritarian environment, and you’ve got the perfect storm for what looks like “defiant” behaviour.
But zoom in closer:
Is it defiance, or frustration?
Is it noncompliance, or an unmet need for scaffolding?
Is it oppositionality, or a deep craving for autonomy and fairness?
These questions don’t excuse disruptive behaviour, but they do contextualize it—and that’s the difference between punishment and growth.
5. Is ODD Even a Useful Construct in Adulthood?
Here’s where the framework begins to fray.
In adulthood, ODD is rarely diagnosed.
Instead, behaviours that would have fallen under ODD in childhood are rebranded under heavier labels:
Borderline Personality Disorder (emotion dysregulation)
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (grandiosity, entitlement)
Intermittent Explosive Disorder
Antisocial Personality Disorder
This diagnostic laundering has two effects:
It obscures the original emotional or cognitive challenges behind more stigmatized language.
It erases a whole subset of people who are not manipulative, antisocial, or aggressive—they're just misunderstood, frustrated, and under-supported.
In these cases, what’s missing is not obedience—but collaboration, clarity, and respect.
6. Final Thoughts: What If ODD Isn’t About Authority at All?
What if we flipped the entire paradigm?
Instead of seeing adult ODD as defiance of authority, we might see it as:
A demand for logical coherence.
A response to vague or invalidating instruction.
A need to feel heard, not managed.
A protest against environments that fail to recognize lived experience or individual cognition.
In short, what if ODD isn’t about rejecting authority—but about demanding it be earned?
This isn’t about excusing behaviour—it’s about understanding the conditions that give rise to it. Because if we keep punishing the protest without hearing the plea behind it, we’re not treating pathology.
We’re just enforcing silence.
Want to Dig Deeper?
In upcoming posts, we’ll explore:
How “Pathological Demand Avoidance” (PDA) overlaps with adult ODD
The connection between emotion regulation strategies and oppositional behaviours
Coaching models that reframe “defiance” as unmet executive function needs
Subscribe to follow the rest of this reframe. Or share this with someone who’s ever been labelled “difficult” just for asking why.